Welcome to Turner Land. Enjoy your stay.

Friday, June 30, 2006

An Eye for an Eye.

You never know what you'll get from a doctor's visit. I often look at it as a way to catch up on gossip by reading every magazine in the waiting room...but this year's eye doctor appointment came with a special kick this year.

It's not like visiting the opthomologist is at the top of my sweet list of fun things to do. It is totally weird going to a doctor who I can't see because my contacts are out and my pupils are huge. It gets even better when he turns off the lights, so it's just me and him in a dark exam room with one of those funky gadgets pressed up to my face. He wheels his stool over, I can hear him moving in the squeaky chair, and all I can see is the little pen light he's flashing in my eyes. He sighs, sufficiently freaking me out (I have anxiety about going blind), and says, "You have beautiful retinas."

Come again? Jigga what? Exsqueeze me? Just to be clear, the retina is the area in the back, inside your eyeball that the image falls on...not the iris (colored part in the front).

Apparently I have not been flaunting my best feature. Who says that? Beautiful retinas. What am I supposed to do with that comment? in the dark with my opthomologist? shining a bright light into my dilated eyes? I said thank you...but what? Turn the light on and let me put my contacts back in before you start saying weird things.

Note to self: Make a shirt that says "Check out my retinas. And yes, they're real."

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Lemon Aid?

Can anyone tell me when lemons became the water garnish of choice? I mean seriously...I seem to vaguely remember being served water with just a glass when I was just a wee lass. But these days, you'll be hard-pressed to find any restaurant that serves water sans lemon wedge.

Even better...I love it PARTICULARLY when the server will bring you a new glass of water to replace your emptied vessel with a fresh lemon wedge WHEN THE OLD GLASS'S WEDGE IS STILL ON THE SIDE OF THE GLASS. Isn't that a sign? Should I wear a shirt that says, "Save the Wedge"?

What if I don't want lemon? What if I'm more of an orange fan? Can I get an orange wedge to grace my glass? I'm starting a revolution.

Note to self: Whenever you buy stuff to wash your car, get a bathing suit, a pool pass, and a new towel, and have time....it WILL rain everyday so you can't enjoy it!

Monday, June 26, 2006

The June Bug

So...it's been awhile since I've blogged. Here's the skinny...

-School is OVER. Amen. Rough end to a rough year. Nuff said.
-Surprised the Dad for Father's Day with a 4 day trip to the Mitt. Good times in the frigid north.
-Finished one grad class, in the midst of another, one on the horizon. Don't be jealous.
-Threw a bday party for Jen and Josh. Good times, good food, good dancing, and a sobriety checkpoint test aced. Go Brian go!
-Celebrated Karyn and Josh's graduation from grad school. So proud and so jealous!
-Baby Sister's 25 now. Damn I'm old.
-End of the season party with Heidi and Black Attack. Despite the rain, we still had a blast.
-Pimped the outside of the house with some flowers from Home Depot. Don't ask me what kinds they are cuz all I'll say are red, white, and blue.

I love being a normal adult...meaning that I get up at a reasonable hour and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.

Note to self: Friends don't let friends work with controlling, nosy, old, out-of-shape, bitchy adults who are so insecure that they let it affect their ability to be SANE. Roots are in (haven't you heard?). Project Runway and America's Next Top Model are the BEST shows...no matter what you say...judge me anyway!

Monday, June 05, 2006

4 Down.

Today was the last full day with students. My kids took their exams, so officially, I'm done with my 4th year of teaching. Can I get a witness??

And kudos to Mitch for tackling her first year with more grace than most. Here's to you Ms. Thang. =)

It's weird, but I almost can't believe that I've been doing this for 4 years. It is by far the job I've had the longest (other than babysitting, but I don't think that is a real job). I've lived here in MD for 4 years?!?! Why do I still feel like such a foreigner still? I still don't know my way around very well. I still don't know where things are. I still sound like a flippin northerner...eh? =)

Ah well...at least I can look forward to another kickin summer of volleyball, working out, camps, grad class, Chi-town, and chillin with my peeps...and unlocking the mysterious lives of Maryland residents (like my shady neighbor).

Note to self: (from 5th period psych today) I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.
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