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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Embarrassing Moments

Many of us tend to feel embarrassed at the doctor's office. Whether it is an unmentionable problem or an awkward conversation about our "uncomfortable zones," it may be easy to feel nervous around the doctors...but never fear.

I stepped embarrassment up to a new level today with my eye doctor.

Brian Regan said it best in his sketch about eye doctor visits. The doctor closes the door. He dims the lights. He wheels up REALLY close to your face. And here you are, 1 inch away from a virtual stranger, as he peers deep into your eyes...with that friggin light...

...and in the midst of the dark room, light shining in my eye, part of the exam, my stomach announces it's presence in the form of a long, drawn out gurgle that must have lasted at least 30 seconds.

And then, as he's giving me the "do you like a or b" clarity test, my stomach begins singing its aria, "Feed Me Seymour" as if competing in the finals of American Idol.

I was mortified...and tried desperately not to laugh.

And what made this situation more awkward was that the doctor just stared at me...like he didn't hear it!! Ummm, I'm pretty sure there are spy satellites linking up trying to find out what atmospheric disturbance occurred around 3 pm today.

I know he heard it. It wouldn't stop. My belly was making sounds like it was trying to communicate with the dead. And he just sat there, asking, "number 1 or number 2? Is this better or worse?" DUDE!! How can you not say something about the tummy??

I can't go back now. I'm sure he was writing nasty things in my file about the symphony playing in my stomach.

Note to self: Find a new eye doctor.


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