Welcome to Turner Land. Enjoy your stay.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

How to be a Pimp: Lesson 1.

First, and foremost apparently, you must have a low-ridin' truck complete with a custom spray-paint paint job AND hydrolix. Nothing makes you look more pimp than backing up your 1986 Chevy truck and then pop your hydrolix in the outskirts of Baltimore. Seriously.

It also helps if you are confused about what race you are. This Eminem wanna-be was wearing uber large pants with a white t-shirt that really could have been accessorized with a stylish belt and made into a dress. It only added fuel to the fire when we discovered he was the owner of the hydro-low custom-painted Chevy.

Did I mention the Cadilac throw-back rims? That earns a bonus point on the way to become the Grand Master Pimp.

Note to self: Avoid the Wilson Bridge at all costs...OR...go pee before you take off REGARDLESS of how long you THINK it will take you to get home.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Back in the Saddle...again

Is it possible to build a tolerance to one's job? Only to go through a withdrawal of sorts and then get drowned in sorrow at the job's return?

I say this on my first day back from a week's vaycay from my an-hells...and I'm totally dead tired. A week of getting up at "normal time" and going to bed at "normal time" killed my work tolerance to getting up at the butt-crack of dawn...making today's alarm the true sound of the devil.

Is it possible to build a tolerance? Do doctors have this problem? Lawyers? Mail persons? Nail technicians? Help!! No towel, need sleepy.

Note to self: Sugar crashes are worse than caffeine withdrawal. Chocolate is an addiction. The Cadbury Cream egg Gods hate me I'm sure of it.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

The Prince of the "Revolution"?

As a fan of Dave and Busters, I can see the appeal of wanting to play the best games (aka skee ball) and enjoy the company and craziness of one's companions. However, at what point do you become obsessed, nay even a fanatic? I believe I have found the answer: The dude at the Dance, Dance Revolution game.

I have been to Dave and Busters twice...dude was there both times and always at that game. I mean, he's a pro. He brings a water bottle and even wears lifting gloves to prevent chafing while he firmly grips the bar to allow his feet to move faster (a move he patented I'm sure). I'm not sure if he thinks Dave and Busters is a gym, but he's sweatin out all his worries as witnessed by the soaking wet shirt he dons while starting his very own revolution.

My question: does he think he's bad ass? cool even? I'm not sure about other girls, but the mastery of DDR is not at the top of my "must haves" list in a man. I mean, he was even talking to the machine!

Note to self: Begin a skee ball revolution. It is the only game that rules no matter how old you are. The only thing that'd make it better is to win chocolate instead of tickets.
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