tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-117635832024-03-23T13:55:01.101-04:00Welcome to Turner Land. Enjoy your stay.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger145125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-38241986321440820002008-11-12T20:39:00.002-05:002008-11-12T20:56:38.853-05:00Embarrassing MomentsMany of us tend to feel embarrassed at the doctor's office. Whether it is an unmentionable problem or an awkward conversation about our "uncomfortable zones," it may be easy to feel nervous around the doctors...but never fear.<br /><br />I stepped embarrassment up to a new level today with my eye doctor.<br /><br />Brian Regan said it best in his sketch about eye doctor visits. The doctor closes the door. He dims the lights. He wheels up REALLY close to your face. And here you are, 1 inch away from a virtual stranger, as he peers deep into your eyes...with that friggin light...<br /><br />...and in the midst of the dark room, light shining in my eye, part of the exam, my stomach announces it's presence in the form of a long, drawn out gurgle that must have lasted at least 30 seconds.<br /><br />And then, as he's giving me the "do you like a or b" clarity test, my stomach begins singing its aria, "Feed Me Seymour" as if competing in the finals of American Idol.<br /><br />I was mortified...and tried desperately not to laugh.<br /><br />And what made this situation more awkward was that the doctor just stared at me...like he didn't hear it!! Ummm, I'm pretty sure there are spy satellites linking up trying to find out what atmospheric disturbance occurred around 3 pm today.<br /><br />I know he heard it. It wouldn't stop. My belly was making sounds like it was trying to communicate with the dead. And he just sat there, asking, "number 1 or number 2? Is this better or worse?" DUDE!! How can you not say something about the tummy??<br /><br />I can't go back now. I'm sure he was writing nasty things in my file about the symphony playing in my stomach.<br /><br />Note to self: Find a new eye doctor.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-64567935960171433292008-08-11T09:55:00.003-04:002008-08-11T10:16:50.382-04:00Olympians?I have been avidly watching the Olympics since they began on Friday. I love the summer games much more than the winter games. And NO, it's not just because volleyball falls in the summer games. =)<br /><br />But there is something that bothers me about some of these "Olympic" events.<br /><br />The Olympics began in Greece as a competition among the elite athletes (get it, Athens--athletes) as a test of strength, speed, stamina, and skill. No one could be compared to these Olympians because they were head and shoulders above the "normal" Greeks as physical specimens.<br /><br />Now we see the modern Olympic games. I don't doubt that every Olympian is the most skilled at his or her event. BUT, some of these events do not hold true to the strength, speed, and athletic quality that the Olympics was born out of. I don't think that air rifle is an Olympic-level sport. Fencing? Seriously folks, these are NOT athletes. They couldn't hold a candle to the training and physical strength it takes to be in any of the track and field events, swimming, cycling, etc.<br /><br />I'm also not a fan of the judged events. This also detracts from the original intent of the Olympic games. Judging is too subjective to truly declare "the best" in the event. Although gymnasts and divers and the like are highly trained, strong, competitors, they leave their fate to subjectivity. And we've seen time and time again of the fallacy of this issue...judges not scoring because of prejudice, discrimination, or just plain idiocy (the Chinese women gymnasts were docked .10 point because the judges didn't like their uniforms).<br /><br />So what is an Olympic event?<br /><ul><li>Running/swimming/cycling faster? Olympic.<br /></li><li>Lifting more? Throwing farther? Olympic.</li><li>Scoring more points IN A PHYSICALLY DEMANDING SPORT? Olympic.</li></ul>Therefore, ping pong is not a sport. It is a past time that should NOT be an Olympic event. Badminton is NOT a sport. It is a past time and NOT an Olympic event. If these are considered Olympic events, then we may as well have Olympic poker, foosball, billiards, bowling, bocce ball, and beer pong. They require the same physical condition and training as some of these other "Olympic" events.<br /><br />Olympic competitive eating anyone?<br /><br />Note to self: Find an event to get Olympified in.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-39528155911891231492008-08-07T09:52:00.005-04:002008-08-07T10:15:18.541-04:00Am I old?Am I old?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The scenario:</span><br />Dewey Beach is a small beach town by Rehobeth Beach. Dewey has good beach areas, plenty of hotels, and the strip of bars and clubs to keep the parties going...until 1 am when they close. My man and his buddies have gone to Dewey for several years running for his birthday celebration. But this year was a little different.<br /><br />We arrived Friday, laid out by the pool, ate some food at Starboard, and prepared for our night out on the town.<br /><br />As we walked up a driveway leading to two clubs, it was hard not to notice the prominent difference in atmosphere between these neighbors.<br /><ul><li>The club on the left was full to the brim with beverage-wielding young adults. While the dj pumped top 40 hits, there was some sort of contest going on that occasionally caused a whooping holler from the crowd in between pelvic-grinding dance moves.<br /></li><li>The club on the right was full, but all of the patrons were seated, enjoying their meals and perhaps a beer or glass of wine. A calypso band added a Marley-esque relaxed atmosphere. The noise this club yields, outside of the cool band beats, is a dull mumble of stimulating conversation.<br /></li></ul>So which club would we enter? As we are all hovering around the bubble of 30, where do we fit more? The Mtv 20 something crowd OR the AARP groupies?<br /><br />As we entered the silver-laced bar to the right, it occurs to me that we don't quite fit here. A couple is dancing a waltz on the lower deck by the band and much of the conversation reeks of retirement. Not to mention the bartender who thought she "got us" by carding us. Clearly we are the youngest ones in this establishment.<br /><br />BUT, none of us were interested in the Paris-Britney obsessed crowd in the bar to the left. Personally, I didn't want to throw out a hip trying to make my way through the packed house of skin-baring babes (or should I say babies). The irony is that we all admitted that we used to love that kind of bar.<br /><br />So does this mean we're old? We'd rather dance a jitterbug and talk about hair replacement than get beer spilled down our backs? And by the way, why are those are only two choices?<br /><br />Note to self: Design stylish orthopedic shoes. Who said getting old had to be style-less?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-82961679348732223342008-08-06T09:26:00.003-04:002008-08-06T10:39:03.756-04:00What is the deal?As volleyball season is a week away, I am very, very excited at the prospects coming back, looking forward to meeting the incoming freshmen, and putting it all together for another run at a state championship. Looking at the rising juniors and returning Varsity girls, I can't wait to see what my months of brainstorming on what I could do to get us that final pearl, that seemingly unattainable feat for this young program who has been denied the blue banner on the wall for three straight years. And as many of us athletes know, once you get a taste of something great, something amazing...that number one ranking and state champion title...you want it more than anything the next time around.<br /><br />But there is a dark, ominous cloud shadowing my excitement: the ugliness of uncertainty has been rearing its head in the rumor mill. My staff and I have heard all shades of "so-and-so isn't coming back to play next season." After a perfectly fabulous season, great team chemistry, and few intra-team issues....what??!?!?!<br /><br />What is with the uncertainty? Why don't athletes want to continue playing in the program? This situation isn't isolated to my team or this season, so what's the deal?<br /><br />Is it positioning? The classic "I should have played that spot instead of her" syndrome?<br /><br />Is it loss of interest? The old "I don't like playing anymore" issue?<br /><br />Is it conflicts with teammates or coaches? The ever-present "She doesn't like me/I don't like her" debacle?<br /><br />While all of those are possible (or probable), I feel that they are all parts of a pervasive issue that is creating weaker, less able kids that believe they should get everything they want when they want it.<br /><br />My generation (and those before me) were raised with the idea that you finish what you start, you don't question authority, and hard work will pay off in the long run. What is the deal with <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">these</span> athletes? They're not bad kids. They are respectful...to my face. They do work hard. If they didn't, my teams wouldn't be as successful as they were. But on what planet to they think that difference of opinion, be it coach-wise or teammate-wise, isn't going to exist?<br /><br />Maybe a forum should be presented every year to every kid and parent involved in school and any after-school activities. The theme would be this: working hard and dealing with conflict are parts of becoming a well-rounded, productive adult. Not everyone can be the best. Not everyone wins 1st place. Not everyone is a starting athlete. Not everyone wins the award. And sometimes it isn't fair (or what you deem as fair). But if you quit, and give in, then the person you thought was wrong wins. What could be worse than losing...twice...to your worst enemy??<br /><br />Maybe I'm totally off-base and there is a plague of disinterest running rampant around my county. But I can't help but question what is making so many kids stop playing a sport they've played for years for seemingly no reason.<br /><br />All I can say is that there are few people in this world that have ever said that they were sad or wrong for finishing what they started. Not many would say that a difficult situation made them weaker or hurt them beyond repair. The majority would say that sticking to something proved they could do anything they put their minds to and, in the end, they were better for it.<br /><br />I can't imagine what my life would be like if I didn't play because I disagreed with my coaches, or if I stopped because I had a teammate who didn't like me, or if I stopped because I didn't think I liked playing anymore. I would have missed out on so much...and I would have more regrets than anything else.<br /><br />SO why don't these kids want to be better people?!? Or a part of a great experience? And most importantly put a State Championship banner on the wall????<br /><br />Note to self: Apparently winning 4 straight Regional titles isn't enough. Obviously embarrassing a cocky home-team to advance to the playoffs isn't enough. Clearly having two energetic, athletic, and knowledgeable coaches isn't enough. Research what x factor is missing to retain kids in the program.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-26678136549116404132008-04-05T10:18:00.003-04:002008-12-09T17:36:41.680-05:00We came, We ran, We lived.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijl5oyAP4QL509dOQ1IORowluX36lsqwf5Q7J38RZmODVl0t7-yNIQ_HCPn3FNkFzqM7jNeXnMNVBf9jPOGMa3MYd437WOgt77GML_xVcoI7zAKPIkZFeT9SjIQEpxhuoqfhF/s1600-h/marathon+08+2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijl5oyAP4QL509dOQ1IORowluX36lsqwf5Q7J38RZmODVl0t7-yNIQ_HCPn3FNkFzqM7jNeXnMNVBf9jPOGMa3MYd437WOgt77GML_xVcoI7zAKPIkZFeT9SjIQEpxhuoqfhF/s320/marathon+08+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185767654565148066" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Last Saturday, Schneeb and I ran the National Marathon in DC. As many believe that we officially lost our minds, we did indeed finish the 26.2 miles in 5 hours, 11 minutes and 54 seconds. We had an awesome cheering section of Baby Sister, Safety Jon, Josh, Kara, Airbo, McC, Trost, and of course Mr. & Mrs. Schneeb and JMack.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">I have to say, although I thought my leg wasn't going to make it around mile 18, I felt really good when we finished. We finished in 1324 place out of 1387 total finishers. </span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:Arial;" > I finished 91 out of 95 runners in the female 25-29 age range. At least we can say we weren't last...although it was very discouraging when some runners (the real runners) were finishing the marathon as Schneeb and I crossed the half way point. =P<br /><br />I don't think I'd run the race again, but I may do this same course for a half-marathon next year. It is an awesome way to get in shape for the spring!!<br /><br />Note to self: The best motivation to finish a race is running through the worst part of DC. It's amazing the energy you find when you're a little worried...<br /><br /><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-1999311390728639042008-01-27T13:08:00.000-05:002008-01-27T13:30:11.450-05:00How to Prepare for a Night Out: Part 1.To help bridge the gap between those of us who are applying for AARP and the 20somethings that are in touch with the latest club scenes...here's the list of how to prepare for your night out on the town/clubbin.<br /><ul><li> <p class="MsoNormal">TOP SELECTION: Ladies. Shirts that fit are OUT!! You simply must have a top that is one size too small. Why? Because how else are you going to showcase your twins if they aren't busting (pun intended) out? More boobs showing=more free drinks. Double bonus points if your top's first button is strategically located between your twins.<br /></p></li><li><p class="MsoNormal">BOTTOM SELECTION: You have a few choices here. A very short, tight black mini can work for you. Just be careful when the "Low" song comes on...you can't get low without a Spears' flash of your haha. If you prefer to get your groove on, the skinny jeans with sleek knee-high boots on the outside is the route to take. Again, more drinks will come if you can't breathe in these jeans. Sitting is simply not an option. Muffin tops sold separately.<br /></p></li><li>SHOES: These are an often over-looked accessory, but it can make or break your ensemble. The shoe of choice MUST include 2 inch heels. Although you'd think these would be uncomfortable....wait...they ARE! All the more fun added to the challenge. Double bonus if you can't walk in them because the heels are too skinny. Nothing is more attractive than a female wobbling across the dancefloor.<br /></li><li><p class="MsoNormal">MAKEUP: The key here is to draw attention to your most expressive attribute: your eyes. Don't be afraid of the eyeliner. There is no such thing as too much. Think raccoon. The club will be dark...we want the whites of your eyes to glow like Ross' teeth on <span style="font-style: italic;">Friends.</span> Double bonus points if you can slap on some fake eyelashes too.<br /></p></li><li><p class="MsoNormal">SMALL TALK: It is imperative to seal the deal with a bubbling personality to go with your bubbling beverage of choice. What better way to display your inner-you than by mind-numbing small talk. Parroting whatever is said to you is the safest route. Although, simply giggling, nodding, and talking extensively about minute details (like how much wine you've already consumed) cannot be discounted here. Please don't forget the side of “fishing for compliments” by commenting on your “big butt,” “thunder thighs,” “flabby arms,” etc. You are sure to draw attention to your perfect rock-hard body by pointing out your "flaws."</p></li></ul>So all in all my friends, there is much to be said about the preparation to branch into the new generation of club scenes. Stay tuned for the next installment of How To Prepare...<br /><br />Note to self: Invest in Icy Hot and ankle braces to make it through the night with the 20somethings.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-64003857920118519632008-01-21T12:02:00.000-05:002008-01-21T12:13:32.449-05:00Reflections of Blue KnobLast weekend, I accompanied the band, Justin Mack, to Blue Knob Ski Resort for some winter wonderland experiences. Here's the hit list of observations.<br /><ul><li>People slow down for flashers regardless of the flashers use. Even if the state cruiser is CLEARLY escorting some precious cargo on a wide flat-bed truck, everyone slows down to 35 mph on Rt. 70. Awesome. Do they realize this is the one time they can fly past and not get caught?</li><li>PA is COLD. The -13 windchill reminds me exactly why I moved away from the frigid north.</li><li>Blue Knob=<span style="font-style: italic;">Out Cold</span> the movie. Watch it and learn.</li><li>Don't eat pretzels in bed even if you think you're being careful. Those little salt granules are abrasive and hard to see on white sheets!</li><li>Sheetz MTO rocks.</li><li>Wedges can fly...from my trunk into the middle of the parking lot.<br /></li><li>Naps are completely necessary.</li><li>Never underestimate the number of times the phrase "I love you" can be used in 1 hour by numerous liquor-loving patrons.</li><li>You can have entertainment ADD. Be careful about the bands/djs you book. They may not mesh well.</li><li>The 1980s are alive and well on the mountain. Tight jeans were the number 1 offense committed by men. Huge hair maintained by Aquanet tops the list for the ladies. Only 1 pair of jorts were present.<br /></li><li>Showers and deodorant are NOT optional.</li></ul><br />Note to self: Open a dance studio for those who'd like to be corrupted by experiences of dj'd events.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-15365235252047602322007-11-17T11:13:00.000-05:002007-11-17T11:26:49.140-05:00Holy Crap!<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok</span>, so I have been insanely busy with school, volleyball, and my boy...but oh what an awesome time this has been!!<br /><br />Here's the 411:<br /><ul><li>My 'Canes are headed back to their 3rd straight State Championship match tonight!! We'll face the formidable Reservoir Gators in the 3A finals...and hopefully the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">euphemism</span> will prove correct that the 3rd time IS the charm!! I'm so proud of my Awesome 8...and anxious for the match to begin!</li><li>I never knew how many meetings would come with teaching 45 special ed students AND being a head coach. Screw SMAC voting and IEPs!!<br /></li><li>My own team, the Titans, played in our first fellowship last weekend. The outlook is good...we did pretty well for a new team. They are playing right NOW at the U of Maryland. Unfortunately, I am with my 'Canes, calming nerves and preparing to kick some rear!</li><li>Justin and I are moving into a cute little townhouse around the corner from my current place in Naptown. We may be moving as soon as next week! I'm so excited! It all started with some alfredo noodles...=)</li></ul>SO...hopefully tomorrow will bring happy news!!<br /><br />Note to self: Hand lotion is necessary from August to November. Christmas shopping has already begun...for everyone else! Project Runway is back...and I get to "design" a new house! Schweet!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-15200459994399053242007-10-07T09:30:00.000-04:002007-10-07T09:40:54.052-04:00Ren Fest 2007If you have never been to a Renaissance Festival...you NEED to go! And let me tell you why:<br /><br />A) The food. Ren Fest is a celebration of food from the "Renaissance Era" whilst enjoying a slightly modern twist. You can get a gigantic turkey leg and steak on a stake. Who wouldn't want to honor the Atkins diet in a better way? There are healthier options (salads, wraps, etc), but WHO wants to be healthy at Ren Fest?<br /><br />2) The meade. Not only is Ren Fest a celebration of food, but it also gives a huge shout out to the lagers and ales we all enjoy. 'Tis a tad pricey per beverage, but totally worth it in the way you get to carry the plastic cup all the way to the priveys every 15 minutes. =)<br /><br />D) There is no better place for people watching EVER. There are shows, shopping, and activities (like axe throwing) where all the freaks and geeks from everywhere come to gather in celebration of their oddness. Not to mention the costumes!! Many of the patrons dress in Renaissance garb, complete with women proudly displaying their breasts in corsets and men in tights with swords. I'm telling you...it is worth every penny you spend on grub and meade to enjoy the "scenic" views.<br /><br />As Billy says, "I'll put money on it that these people also attend comic book conventions." I added that Star Trek conventions couldn't be too far behind.<br /><br />Note to self: Gyros NOT in Greece just plain stink.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-74146916086767606822007-10-03T21:44:00.000-04:002007-10-03T21:51:46.458-04:00Oldies but goodies.Have you heard the new Bruce Springsteen song?? I'm obsessed since my man played it for me last night.<br /><br />Check it out <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gd6EhRRNJc">here.</a><br /><br />Too bad youtube blocked the video. It is refreshing to hear some solid music by someone who used to rock when I was a wee little tot. It give me hope for the music world....maybe this song can beat out some of the earth-shattering lyrics atop the charts today:<br />....let me buy you a drank....<br />....i don't need the cheese or the car keys boy i like you just the way you are...<br />....g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s yeah...<br /><br />Note to self: Use quotes from student papers to write the next hit song...alone in my principals...(please get it baby sister).Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-31960280071895160762007-10-01T19:29:00.000-04:002007-10-01T19:35:14.634-04:00I will survive...Yes I know. It's been awhile...but I'm so swamped with volleyball and teaching that I hardly have time to eat and sleep. Sheesh I'm tired.<br /><br />But I need some help on this one. Halloween is right around the corner...and we all know that means it's time for the witty costume. Hmmmm. I don't have time to think, so what do YOU think I should be?<br /><br />Requirements need be:<br /><ol><li>Funny</li><li>Ironic</li><li>Clever</li><li>Easy to put together (budget and time are NOT on my side)</li><li>Slut-factor need be included</li><li>Can work as a duo with Justin</li></ol>Post it soon!!<br /><br />Note to self: Find a way for papers to grade themselves.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-87008886156633746582007-08-22T22:10:00.000-04:002007-08-22T22:19:41.756-04:00If it ain't broke, it ain't mine.I'm living in technological hell.<br /><br /><ul><li>My camera was (and is no longer) broken. Stupid campers.</li><li>My hard drive DIED. 4 trips to the Geek Squad later, I have a new hard drive, NONE of my old files, and now I get to redo EVERYTHING. </li><li>My car lighter isn't working anymore, which is totally lame since now I can't charge my phone OR my iPod while driving. </li><li>AND today, my left front headlight went out.</li></ul>It all started with the tv. What's next...WAIT...I retract the question. I don't want to know.<br /><br /> Note to self: Service plans rule. Double days are OVER. I love food and sleep...and a little bit of Greek time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-91906726356284320642007-08-10T18:45:00.000-04:002007-08-10T18:52:01.636-04:005=45.5 miles to the Wilson Bridge. That's what the sign said as Schneeb and I rolled to a stop on my favoritist of roads, The Beltway. 5 miles. 5 measly little miles.<br /><br />5 miles that took us 45 minutes to cross over the bridge. That's right folks. 45 minutes of rolling at 2 mph, stopping, cursing, lane changing, stopping, cursing, shifting in the seat, cursing, etc.<br /><br />This leads to Turner's School of Driving rule #95634: (and aptly put by Schneeb) The Bridge is the same width as the road so you DO NOT HAVE TO SLOW DOWN TO CROSS IT.<br /><br />And draws a reference to rule #4: Pass on the LEFT you psychotic idiots. If you can't hang with the big dawgs in the left lane, resign yourself to that fact that you are a tortoise and join your flock in the right lane.<br /><br />Note to self: Never work in DC because your road rage will cause harm to yourself and others. Stay clear of the Beltway and anything with a 4, 9, or 5 in the title from the hours of 4-6 pm.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-50867439243486174642007-08-09T22:18:00.001-04:002007-08-09T22:26:03.289-04:00And now a word from our sponsors...To summarize today's McC shopping extravaganza, in straight-up Sesame Street style, today's blog has been sponsored by: pants, the number 3, and the Visa Gold Card (cause Visa is everywhere you want to be).<br /><br />Pants: McC needed "work pants" and we made a VERY big step today. That's right. McCandless has joined the 21st century style SANS PLEAT. Yes ladies and gents, McC is now the proud owner of non-pleated, no wrinkle, fade-resistant khaki pants. (insert round of applause here) It has taken me 5 years, but it paid off. They look good Brian.<br /><br />The number 3: This was the magic number of the day. Brian has 3 pairs of new pants. We only had to go to 3 stores to find them. I bought 3 bags of things. We were done shopping after 3 hours. We waited 3 years for our drinks at Chevys. We watched <em>300 </em>this afternoon. Maggie McG is turning 3 (a very cute 3 at that) very soon. I could go on, but I'll stop.<br /><br />And the Visa Gold Card: Visa paid for everything today. Now, it would truly be a miracle if we could get the bill to disappear.<br /><br />Note to self: Liam loves to jam, eat lemons, and knock over water. Maggie loves to share ice cream cones, play dominos, and give herself a black eye. I loved every second of their awesomeness at dinner tonight....especially the qt with Bill, Sue, and Brian.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-72358786161965187132007-08-08T10:23:00.000-04:002007-08-08T10:25:47.584-04:00Words of Wisdom.I’m guessing it was the Chinese who decided that people needed bits of wisdom and inspiration from their food. I mean really. Do we really like fortune cookies or are we really after the advice on the inside?<br /><br />And many other companies have jumped on the “food for thought” bandwagon. Laffy Taffy has jokes. Starbucks has “fun facts” on the sides of the cups. And Dove Chocolate puts little nuggets of zest on the inside of the wrapper.<br /><br />So here’s what I really want to know: how does one become a writer of these juicy pieces of worldly knowledge? Here are the nuggets of zest from this morning’s sugar rush:<br /> “Go to your special place.”<br /> “When two hearts race, both win.”<br /> “Smile. People will wonder what you’ve been up to.”<br /> “Keep the promises you make yourself.”<br /><br />Do they post in the local paper? I can only imagine what the job description would read. “Are you full of useless knowledge? Can you predict the future? Can you write a wonderfully-crafted, vague sentence that can provey earth-shattering wisdom upon the chocolate eater?”<br /><br />Note to self: Never underestimate the power of a $70 train ticket and a whole day of peppering with Baby Sister. Or the right phone call on a long drive home.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-84414485827185676082007-07-30T13:19:00.000-04:002007-07-30T13:30:21.385-04:00Life's a Beach.Just got back from a weekend getaway to Dewey Beach in Delaware. Although weather had called for storms, we escaped the weekend with a few drops of rain, one hand-war with the ac unit, very little sleep, and stories that will go down with laughter for years to come.<br /><br />I'd never been to Dewey, but I liked the quaintness. It has a lot of the same amenities and attractions as its counterparts (Ocean City, Virginia Beach)...but, there were fewer people, no boardwalk, and space to hide if you wanted to. We were right near the beach so the 2 minute walk RULED. You can't really do that in a bigger beach scene. There was enough soft sand for people to lay comfortably and we got to see a rather large group/family/pod of dolphins right off the shore. That was totally worth it.<br /><br />And it makes me have to point out one not-so-tiny AMEN to the land of beach fashion: the board short. God was having a good day when He decided to create the many prints of the board short. It wins hands down over it's rival, the Speedo. You really can't go wrong with a board short...even old-man obnoxious flowers work well in comparison to the banana hammock. It leaves just enough to the imagination, yet accentuates on many a man some areas that deserve a little shout-out. So, to you God, I say THANK YOU for the board short. =) And thank you for accessible distribution as to make the Speedo a no-go for most men.<br /><br />And who does a tall girl have to kill to get a towel that is long enough for the beach? Eh? What does Shaquille O'Neal or Yao Ming use? Can I get a witness for the sandy shins??<br /><br />Note to self: Never underestimate the attractiveness of Jeep-blown, alcohol-soaked, chlorinated, salted, sandy, humidified, sunscreened hair. No really, it looked good. =PUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-8378892893252889552007-07-18T09:32:00.000-04:002007-07-18T09:48:06.672-04:00The Best Buy?Today's topic came to me with yesterday's unexpected burial of my tv. My poor tv exploded (smoke and all), which caused an impromptu Best Buy run for a newer, better version of my tube. After standing in the tv section for 20 minutes without a single probing worker hovering around me, it made me wonder...how do the workers know who to annoy?<br /><br />Usually when I go to Best Buy (or any other store for that matter) without the intent to buy, I can't keep the store workers away from me. But yesterday, I walked into the store with the intent of spending a fair amount of moolah, and I couldn't buy a worker. They weren't anywhere in sight. And the kicker is that I was sniffing around the heavy artillery (the plasma/LCD tv section) where the big guns go. Nobody in sight. I even searched around the section of the store to find a worker lurking in the shadows. No one there. I could have been standing there naked and nobody would have known.<br /><br />Why is that? Why is it that when you don't want help, they're annoyingly willing to help you? "What can I help you find today?" "Do you need to try that on?" "What size do you wear?" "Would you like to open one of our ridiculously high APR credit cards and save $2 today?"<br /><br />Yet, when you actually NEED the help, they're MIA? Oh wait...that would require work. Dangit.<br /><br />Note to self: Flat screens rule. <em>Dukes of Hazzard</em> still rocks. Bo Duke on a flat screen with great company=priceless.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-52894320482707260942007-07-16T23:59:00.000-04:002007-07-17T00:09:50.855-04:00But seriously...Rough day today. I find myself questioning AGAIN why I'm a teacher. (But Turner, you're not in school now. How is it possible that you're questioning that AGAIN??) Well, after attending my second funeral of a student and noting that I've lost 5 in 5 years, it makes me wonder.<br /><br />It makes me wonder a lot of things.<br /><br />To me, there are few things that feel worse than hopelessness. Hopelessness loomed in the chapel today as we heard the eulogy of a 16 year old girl with a bright future ahead. Although I didn't know her that well, it was time for reflection on the others lost. I felt hopeless against the "invincible" teenaged thought process, the drug issues, the "it will never happen to me" syndrome. Is it possible to do this job and not feel hopeless? Is it possible to do this job and not invest and care in them (even the "challenging" ones)? Is it possible to go a year without losing another one?<br /><br />Then the second notion hits: fear. I don't like to be afraid. I try not to be. What is there to fear? I fear feeling hopeless. I fear feeling the loss of a loved one. I fear that I could have done something to prevent some of these losses.<br /><br />And I know that it's irrational, but is it possible to teach/coach these kids and not have that fear?<br /><br />Note to self: People who cut in funeral processions should have to do grounds keeping in the cemetaries.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-52199292488771405872007-07-10T19:04:00.000-04:002007-07-10T19:35:20.667-04:00Can anyone tell me why my blog won't let me title anymore?<br /><br />SO, today was day 2 of Turner's volleyball camp. I'm exhausted, but the 34 campers rule! This camp is the 7-9 graders...and I like the mix of half experienced, half no clue kids. They make me laugh, especially with the "sumos" in warm-ups. There is something particularly hilarious about them squatting to the floor and screaming "oootttaaaahhh."<br /><br />The best news is that I have 3 boys amidst the sea of pre-pubescent estrogen. I can't stress how STOKED I am to have the boys. I have the grassroots of a men's team starting. The 3 are actually pretty athletically inclined and seem to enjoy volleyball...so I'm jumping all over them, gently persuading them on WHY they should continue to play volleyball... Stay tuned while I work my magic.<br /><br />The unfortunate thing is that I'm supposed to have 4 former players helping me. Today, I had 2. Not cool. How did volleyball players get so unreliable?? Hmmm.<br /><br />Note to self: Nothing tops a day better than double stuff peanut butter Oreos...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-88427601390212928282007-07-07T06:12:00.000-04:002007-07-07T06:24:09.604-04:00Happy Birthday McC!! Tonight's 7/7/7 at 7 party should rule!<br /><br />So Billy, Jen, McC and I saw "The Jokers" play last night at Quig's house. It's a new band based out of The Beach and they were playing a tune-up gig out of the garage of a fellow cowoker. I've taught Z.Bob and T.V....and couldn't help but feel instantly transported back to the high school days of yore. Watching the local band play at somebody's house, parents around, other kids there but not really paying attention. Totally retro. They did a half-way decent job...especially since Z.Bob is not a singer (nor does he pretend to be), yet he is the front man in this band. He's come a long way since our Chilli Pepper renditions in Broadcasting. =)<br /><br />So, other than the mass amounts of bug bites, last night was a trip down memory lane and fun. But it was hard not to feel like "that teacher" even though there were plenty of other adults around.<br /><br />Note to self: Keep a can of Off in the car.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-55022378692764007532007-07-04T14:59:00.001-04:002007-07-04T15:02:32.317-04:00More than meets the eye.DUDE.<br /><br />You have to see Transformers. It is AWESOME. I went with Adam, Christie, and Josh today and we were not disappointed. I was instantly taken back to the days of yore when the biggest concern of the day was who's house we were going to play Nintendo at, what Barbies we should bring, and wearing the right shorts as to not get burned on the big slide.<br /><br />Ah, memories.<br /><br />AND they had the original Optimus Prime voice. Does life get any better? I submit that it cannot.<br /><br />Note to self: Popcorn cures all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-41248059822936484612007-07-02T19:39:00.000-04:002007-07-02T19:46:43.497-04:00I left my heart in Greece.Greece is simply amazing. Gorgeous. Awesome. Unbelievable. Amazing.<br /><br />Team Currier just got back into the States today...and I am suffering from a severe case of Greek haze. I've been up since 3:30 am Athens time and it is technically the same time in Athens as I type right now...so I am the poster child of tired...and still in LOVE with Greece and all associated memories. =)<br /><br />It was an unreal 2 weeks of disconnected-from-real-life bliss complete with sides of scenic views, white buildings, beautiful sunsets, and black-sand beaches. I wasn't a huge fan of Athens; Paros and Santorini were the best of the islands. In many ways it's good to be home...flushing tp, drinking from the tap, enjoying the deodorant-scented people, choosing clothes from my closet and not a suitcase. BUT, I have never NOT wanted to leave a place so much in my entire life.<br /><br />There will be many more posts to come from this life-altering experience...<br /><br />Note to self: Marble is slippery. Cacti are sharp. Crabs aren't worth it. Scooters suck. But we LOVE the Greek medical system!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-46742301729896006232007-06-05T18:42:00.000-04:002007-06-05T18:49:41.812-04:00Turner Driving School, Day 2.Welcome to Day 2 of the Turner Driving School. Day 1 involved the imperative lessons on driving in the snow and ice. Today, we'll discuss the "school area" speed limits.<br /><br />Just to make sure we're all on the same page, a "school area" is designated by the speed limit sign with the yellow flashing lights that will illuminate when it is time to drive the slower speed because of beginning/ending times of the school day.<br /><br />Need I repeat YELLOW FLASHING LIGHTS. That's right everyone; the LIGHTS WILL FLASH when it is necessary to drive the 25 or 35 mph speed limit to ensure the safety of the angels beginning or ending their day at school. If lights are not flashing, then the normal speed limit applies to this area.<br /><br />Is this hard to understand?? No. If you are confused, please give me your KEYS because you don't deserve your suped-Civic with NOS anyway.<br /><br />Note to self: T minus 2 days 'til I'm DONE "teaching" my students. Can I get a witness?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-46438154770408902692007-06-04T22:02:00.000-04:002007-06-04T22:23:00.575-04:00Grad-u-ate-shun.Last week was quite the whirlwind of pre, during, and post graduation activities. Here's the hit list...of Project Grad which I FINALLY got to chaperone. Here's what I learned.<br /><br />1. Gotta love the 1.5 hour nap from 8:30 pm til 10 pm. I woke up completely disoriented...and craving breakfast and coffee. Thank goodness for Sams making a pot of Folgers...with chocolate syrup.<br /><br />2. I got the "enthusiastic" bus. Bus #5 full of all the kids who thought that singing all the way up to DC was a grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat idea. The best part was that they started the kareoke fest with Ginuine's "Pony," a song that surely was not out when they were born. Nothing like off-key singing of various hip-hop and go-go hits at 11:30 pm.<br /><br />3. Then some dumb ass lit a cigarette on the bus. When I stood up to search, I could see the whites in their dark little eyes and could hear a pin drop (thank goodness they stopped singing). What kind of retard thinks I wouldn't smell that??<br /><br />4. The boat ride up and down the Potomac was fine. Great weather. Perfect for sitting outside on the deck and admiring the sights of Virginia and DC. Also a fabulous place to escape the "CC" representin going on the dance floor.<br /><br />5. On the way back, my "enthusiastic" bus #5 believed that playing "Yo Momma" all the way (mind you it is about 3 am) was the most fabulous way to end this magical evening.<br /><br />6. The only thing that interrupted the stupendous Yo Momma game was their keen idea of hanging out the bus and yelling at the police drug bust in progress. Seriously. This is what happens when idiotic "hick rats" are taken out of their little safe haven and placed in an area where real crimes happen. They do something dumb. I'm still shocked that the police didn't chase us down in our big cheese bus.<br /><br />7. 4 am arrives and sees us back at the school for breakfast. I don't remember much from this period of time due to my exhaustion. But when I woke up at 11:30 am on Friday I was the happiest person alive since I WASN'T AT SCHOOL!!<br /><br />Note to self: Never, EVER, be a senior class sponsor again. Project Grad really isn't worth the pain in the patootie.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11763583.post-51357405027811695062007-05-10T19:50:00.000-04:002008-12-09T17:36:41.992-05:00Yes, they're real.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFSib0fE_zGXvKcXGW4f_P6gUZdwBruhNjHjJadus9UmqOljWZ6O52O2eKsVZjuJZkd9dXQoY_qY6pxaOPL6_YupjRTCC3Y8PzIOHOPGLnIuDKt_fvEdE8CZbuTj7wkRfXl0eO/s1600-h/2007_0428_mobykick.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063083870906040050" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFSib0fE_zGXvKcXGW4f_P6gUZdwBruhNjHjJadus9UmqOljWZ6O52O2eKsVZjuJZkd9dXQoY_qY6pxaOPL6_YupjRTCC3Y8PzIOHOPGLnIuDKt_fvEdE8CZbuTj7wkRfXl0eO/s320/2007_0428_mobykick.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>There. All you nay-sayers. We do exist. And it's not like we're wearing obnoxiously bright yellow shirts that have "PLAY KICKBALL" plastered on the back. It's not like we have a clever name (Moby Kick) or anything. It's not like we think we're cool.</div><div> </div><div>We play kickball. We play with a red, bouncy ball which is a direct shout-out to all the elementary PE teachers. We play on The Mall in DC (notice the Washington Monument in the left corner). </div><div> </div><div>PS: We haven't won a single kickball game. I'm sure you can't tell by this picture. It hides our athleticism and cat-like speed.</div><div> </div><div>Bonus points are earned for all CCPS employees named.</div><div> </div><div> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1