An Eye for an Eye.

You never know what you'll get from a doctor's visit. I often look at it as a way to catch up on gossip by reading every magazine in the waiting room...but this year's eye doctor appointment came with a special kick this year.

It's not like visiting the opthomologist is at the top of my sweet list of fun things to do. It is totally weird going to a doctor who I can't see because my contacts are out and my pupils are huge. It gets even better when he turns off the lights, so it's just me and him in a dark exam room with one of those funky gadgets pressed up to my face. He wheels his stool over, I can hear him moving in the squeaky chair, and all I can see is the little pen light he's flashing in my eyes. He sighs, sufficiently freaking me out (I have anxiety about going blind), and says, "You have beautiful retinas."

Come again? Jigga what? Exsqueeze me? Just to be clear, the retina is the area in the back, inside your eyeball that the image falls on...not the iris (colored part in the front).

Apparently I have not been flaunting my best feature. Who says that? Beautiful retinas. What am I supposed to do with that comment? in the dark with my opthomologist? shining a bright light into my dilated eyes? I said thank you...but what? Turn the light on and let me put my contacts back in before you start saying weird things.

Note to self: Make a shirt that says "Check out my retinas. And yes, they're real."