5=45.

5 miles to the Wilson Bridge. That's what the sign said as Schneeb and I rolled to a stop on my favoritist of roads, The Beltway. 5 miles. 5 measly little miles.

5 miles that took us 45 minutes to cross over the bridge. That's right folks. 45 minutes of rolling at 2 mph, stopping, cursing, lane changing, stopping, cursing, shifting in the seat, cursing, etc.

This leads to Turner's School of Driving rule #95634: (and aptly put by Schneeb) The Bridge is the same width as the road so you DO NOT HAVE TO SLOW DOWN TO CROSS IT.

And draws a reference to rule #4: Pass on the LEFT you psychotic idiots. If you can't hang with the big dawgs in the left lane, resign yourself to that fact that you are a tortoise and join your flock in the right lane.

Note to self: Never work in DC because your road rage will cause harm to yourself and others. Stay clear of the Beltway and anything with a 4, 9, or 5 in the title from the hours of 4-6 pm.