Capital Punishment.

Here are some nuggets of wisdom from the stupendous fans at the Caps vs Penguins game from yesterday:

• "You can't win if you're down 4-1." Obviously this Captain Obvious found his information from the "No sh*t Sherlock" file. I feel that this doesn't even warrant a comment.
• "They need to score!" Really? That's the problem? Why don't you march down the 400 stairs and let the coach know. That'll solve it.
• It's very VERY important to substitute the opposing team's info into home team cheers. For example, c-a-p-s becomes p-e-n-s...otherwise your street cred is shot. The MORE cheers you're able to sabotage, it becomes "easier" for your team to win.

Note to self: Give someone a "security" uniform and they'll become the Great Wall of China if you're trying to get to your seat. Fingerprints, retinal scan, and blood-typing are possible substitutes for your ticket.