Spandex.

Ok. I don't care how hot you are. I don't care how great your body is (or how great you think it is). Friggin Tom Brady could walk into the gym and I would PUKE if he committed the one style sin to rival the speedo: MEN IN SPANDEX.

I have noticed that men at the gym I work out at are particularly fond of the spandex. No. No. No. Shorts. Strike that: knee-length shorts. I don't wanna see your bulge and neither does the old heart-attack-prone woman next to me. Keep it in the shorts. Whatever happened to leaving something to the imagination? PLEASE.

Note to self: I love brownies. I love Christmas cookies. I love wearing spandex after eating brownies and Christmas cookies.